Ok so maybe she wasn’t wowing them on the way in when she refused to walk into the building (or the exam room) and I had to carry her, or when she was burying her head in my chest, shaking in the waiting room. But who can blame her? The last time she was there she left wearing a fentanyl patch, two more kinds of pain relievers in tow and wondering what hit her. When the Dr. took out the sutures and examined the incision site though they were plenty impressed, it has healed beautifully. When Bella realized she got to leave with me she put on her best (limpy) prance and made her way back through the clinic all wiggles and smiles greeting everyone along the way with Bella cheer. The Dr. said she is pleased with Bella’s progress thus far and now we wait another month and then take x-rays again and get a new progress report. In the meantime Bella will continue to soak up the love and sunshine in her foster home with my amazing mom and sister and will continue to eat the good food that has helped her gain 4 1/2 pounds already!
Suffice it to say our Belle of the Ball is doing well. She is a happy girl. But sometimes it seems that she is unsure in her own happiness, not comfortable with it. Sometimes it seems like she is afraid to be happy, not sure she should be or that it will last. She smiles all the time but the sort of modest smile where you look down and away, as if laughing at something when you aren’t quite sure you should be. Every now and then she’ll smile at me full on and I tell her “yes, Bella girl, you can be happy now, please be happy now”. I quote to her from my favorite Damnwell’s song, I say “Beautiful Bella, we will keep the bad things from you - we will love you like no other, we will keep the price below cost, we will lead the way from all is lost. - we will keep the bad things from you.”. She’ll get there, she’s come a long way.
Bella loves to snuggle, she loves attention, she likes hugs and kisses and someone to lay next to her on the floor. She loves to be talked to sweetly and told how good she is, what a pretty girl, and how she is loved. She blossoms under the attention. When it is time we have to find Bella a home with someone who give all this to her and more. The rewards of doing so are rich - there is no price to put on a Bella smile. She should know with absolute certainty that she is precious and greatly loved every day for the rest of her life.
Last weekend Bella was very happy to lay outside in the sunshine while my mom raked. After a while she got curious about that enormous and growing pile of leaves and went to investigate. She sniffed around the edges and tentatively waded in the leaf ocean until she made her way to the center of the pile and snuggled into her newly made bed and blanket.
Thanks again for being part of Bella’s new found family and being the reason her story is possible.
Take care of you and yours.
Lynne and Janine